Kamui's Meatball Sub
by Lee love KH forever
Summary: It was just the three of us sitting there on that day of doom. Captin Kamui, I, and his meatball sub currently residing in my stomach.


**People Can't Come to See How Good a Meatball Sub Is, For People Are Too Stupid to Realize that Italian Food is the Best Food in the World.**

 _By: Usagi Lee_

September 23rd, the Day of My Downfall.

You look at this sentence with interest expecting a major fantastic novel to take away your boredom for the next few hours. That's the problem with the few readers left in the universe, they expect another _Harry Potter_ when they can't come to terms that Harry Potter's retired now, likely living in the Bahamas. Am I being too critical? Sorry, I'll try to lower the tone, but no this is not a full length novel about my downfall. Nor is it a short story about the day I was faced with the lingering horror of my curious captain. No, this is only a scene between me, a meatball sandwich, and the Captain of the ship.

Fuzzy bunnies hop up and down, covering my big-chilly toes. I'm currently walking with my bunny-slippers on the metal tiles with no light visible what-so-ever except for the small light displayed from my 3DS. Spent two hours playing _Fire Emblem Awakening_ and I still can't sleep. I have no idea what time it is, I lost track after 3 AM. Though I am wide awake, a yawn releases from my mouth echoing around the barren walls of this metal ship. The cracks and dents in need of repair leak the smelly odor of the alien pirates who slumber below and above the hallways I walk. My ears pick up their grizzly snores from the ceiling and floor-what losers. Tip to all the men out there: if you want to get into a relationship fix your sleeping habits. Actually this could apply to women too. #TheMoreYouKnow.

I make my way to a hollow inaudible room, where all is covered by shadows except for the small crack of light in the shape of a rectangle. I must reach that rectangle. Just like Frankenstein I reach out my arms to grasp the feel of _-'Bonk!'_ Ow my legs! I point my 3DS downward spotlighting the wooden table below me. Curse you kitchen table for always being the problematic obstacle for sleep-walkers! No, I may not be sleep-walking at the moment but the table should receive its guilt plea. Rubbing the pain from my legs I shine the suspect light from the guilty table to the metal-white box in the corner: The Fridge. My feet shuffled over to the door of the fridge, my free pale-cold hand gripping the rubber handle. Releasing a big deep breath I open the white door to reveal the glorious light that cuts through the darkness.

There they were, the treasures of the universe: food. Glorious food displayed on plastic shelves, cutting through the eerie darkness of the night kitchen. Surely a late-night snack won't do much harm; I doubt those low-brain pirates will even notice. My caramel-brown eyes skim through plastic shelves-let's see: slimy green beans, molding pasta, and cheese with an odor. It figures a group of sweaty men don't know how to clean their own dam-oh what is that? Right before my eyes was a figment dazzled in its forever glory-a prince in front of the many lower-level servants. This prince's title: a meatball sub. Yes, the marvelous sub that originated from the great nation of Italy! A meatball sub perfectly compacted with layers of cheese and sauce, with three large meatballs sleeping inside, finished off by a soft bun holding the sandwich together. I haven't seen a perfectly displayed sandwich nor meal since my stay with the alien pirates on board. They can barely heat bread as it is, so who in their oh-so-correctly mind created this?!

I grasped the sandwich completely wrapped around it and the paper plate beneath it. With my 3DS in one hand and the sub in the other, I closed the door with a kick from my foot. This sub will surely be the best thing that's ever happened to me, once I heat it up.

I forgave the guilty kitchen table, taking a seat with the hot sub in one hand with my other holding my 3DS. It's late at night and I'm too lazy to find the switch, so I'll simply have my 3DS be the only light source in this kitchen. It's not like anyone's going to wake up this early anyway. Putting both items on the wooden table, I wipe my hands against my Elmo pajamas to prepare for my meal. My hands slowly make their way to the steaming warmth only lit from the small blue light of my 3DS. Grasping the soft, warm bun, I lift the sub lingered with the smell of Italian homes. My shaking hands bring the sub to my drooling mouth and then-

Well let's just say there's a reason school cafeterias only serve meatball subs on special occasions.

I tasted heaven: pure Italian taste savored by the purity of fresh tomato sauce; whoever made this sub needed to go earn his/or her own Nobel Prize. Now I feel I can go off to dreamland with a warmth in my tummy-tum tum. Another yawn escapes my sauce-covered lips while my hands pick up the shredded plastic around. Placing the plastic on the paper plate, I lift the plate-when a sudden small piece of paper floats down. What's this? My left hand grasps the note on the wooden table, bringing it to the light of my 3DS. It says…

Kamui's Sub

(…

…)

…I just ate Captain Kamui's sub.

OH **** I JUST ATE ******* KAMUI'S SUB! I ATE THE******* SUB OF THE CAPTIN ON THIS SHIP! I'M SO GOING TO DIE!

Ok! Ok! I need to calm down. Maybe I'm just overreacting. It's not like the captain is a serial killer who enjoys killing others for fun…..Oh sh*t he is! B-But w-wait! He can't kill me for I'm female, and has that belief that killing females is wrong since they can give birth to strong boys. But what about those ninjas from Yoshiwara he killed? They were all female…I'm dead! I'm so a goner! D.E.A.D!

My caramel-colored eyes can feel salty water start to form-now's not the time to start crying! I need to hide the evidence. Hide the murder of the princely sub and walk off forming the persona of the innocent one with no idea of who, what, or how this night even happened. It'll work, right? It is how all the killers these days remain unseen for the next twenty years anyways. Ok, so first I need to clean up the pla-

"Oh Luna-Chan you're awake too?" A cheery voice rings behind me.

A voice as bright as the rays of the sun or rather could be the sun itself. A happy tone so familiar and outgoing with a once of purity that could only belong to one specific person on this ship:

The Captain.

I could feel the frame of my caramel-eyes widen, the pupils in the center of my eyeballs growing smaller by the second. I couldn't see him, but the intensity of his presence was so lingering to the point the whole room was nothing more than a figment of reality. Behind me, only a few feet away stood the nightmare before my reality-Captain Kamui.

Whatever I do, don't look at him, don't look don't look. Acknowledge him but don't look at him for the word 'guilty' is drawn all over my face, "Y-Yeah," My throat sucks in all the fear shaking the edges of my mouth.

He asks," Were you getting a late-night snack?" I would love to know what exactly he's doing behind me. Possibly preparing a knife in hand-oh gosh I want to throw up the sub.

"Yeah-I couldn't sleep." I reply tasting the tang of sauce on my lips-OH crap my face! I lick the remaining sauce away in order to hide the bloody evidence.

"Oh, is that why you have your 3DS out?" I hear a shuffle of feet from the corner of my left ear. Oh gosh he's walking over!-Just keep calm-just keep calm. Think about those British posters!

The pool of darkness wraps around the kitchen with a 'thump thump thump' echoing across the walls-actually that may just be my own heart. My 3DS' home screen provides the only security in the room with the light it shines across the room. A shadow walks alongside the light making my breath hitch. Like a predator walking around its prey, Kamui walks around the next victim of his kill list. A long orange ponytail flickers across the blue light, with a small screeching noise resonating from the chair before me. Before I could even answer, Captain Kamui sat before me.

His pale skin glistened in the light, while his typical smile was plastered on his face. His eyes were closed as usual, but part of me wonders what the blue eyes beneath were shaped like-He's known for his killer look. His Halloween-orange hair was messy as usual, but with a newly discovered black PJ-hat placed on his head. If I weren't so deathly afraid of him at the moment, I would have found this cute. "Luna?" He asks smiling.

Do not be tricked for his smile, it is a lie plastered all over his smooth face. "Yes?" I ask.

"Are you ok? You seem frazzled." That's the thing about Kamui; he's known to smile before he kills his victims out of respect.

"I'm just very tired, I should probably go back to bed soon," Both of my hands grasp the fabric of my elephant pajama pants, my right-hand hiding the now crinkled note I found earlier.

"Oh alright, I just thought you enjoy someone to talk to." A smirk then formed, "Since you gave up at playing Pokémon after all."

I did not! My hands clutch the Elephant PJs even tighter. Now's not the time to get mad about that, he's only teasing you. I should try talking to him tough or he'll think something's up, "Why are you up so late Captain?" Don't smile or fidget.

His right hand comes up sending a jolt of fear down my spine, till he brings it behind his shoulder to rub his back, "Same case as you, I can't sleep either. I'm too excited for later today."

"Aren't you guys just sailing today?"

Kamui's smile grew, "No, we'll be crusading over to planet Hamek, killing the pirates who failed to listen to orders." He makes it sound like Christmas is tomorrow.

"Oh…" I just need to keep cool for a little bit more…

"So what did you eat Luna?" He's been asking a lot of questions lately.

The sound of glass breaking could be heard from my brain, "O-Oh just some c-chips." My gaze focuses on the wretched table.

"Really? It smells sweet in here?" His head skims around while I curse his perfect five senses. "Oh yeah-"

I gasp, "What?!" The nerves inside me just came out of nowhere.

Kamui gives me a questionable look then rolls his ocean-blue eyes out of annoyance, "Luna-Chan you really should control your fear of the dark." It's not the dark I'm petrified about. "Anyways, I've been told I had a meal for me in the fridge-"Oh no, here we go. Kamui's going to find out the meal made for him was eaten-by me. I better prepare my Will while we're at it. It'll start with my name then list the things I'll give away-like my 3DS. "That Abuto made for me." What?! That lazy man who smells like a pig made this?! How in the world? Abuto was Kamui's lackey, a man in his middle-ages who lost an arm from our sadist captain. "Better get the meal the oaf made." OH NO! NO! NO! NO!

Kamui stands up walking to the fridge while all I can do is sit there in horror at what he'll discover. I need to hide this plate! No-I need to leave this place! Run out, fall out of ship, out of space, I dunno but I need to run! The opening of the fridge door echoes in my ear. I quickly stand up, "Wait-Captain!"

"Where the hell is my food?…" The voice that held rays of sunshine now lowered to the depths of the darkest abyss. I gulped knowing the answer to his question.

Trying to keep calm and carry the innocent persona, I twirled the frizz of my blonde hair, "M-Maybe it got misplaced?" I wonder if the monster in him can smell my fear? Kamui doesn't answer but keeps his head in the fridge. I wonder what he's thinking, what he looks like, if he's even going to keep his humanity at this point. Maybe it's even just me, but the darkness around the room seems to be gathering to one place-or one person-him.

Kamui's long orange ponytail moves behind his black PJs when suddenly he pulled his head out. He grabbed the fridge's door and- **'BAM!** ' Slammed the door so hard the whole fridge crashed into the back wall. I could only stare dumbfounded, too frozen to even move a bone. Did I fail to mention Kamui's brunt strength is what made him a full fledge killer? Kamui kept his back faced toward me, yet now I'm really starting to wonder how those blue-ocean eyes look now. "Luna." He says my nick-name in such a monotone voice "I may need you to come on the mission later."

"Why?" I ask.

"Because I feel someone's not gonna be there today." He finally turned around, only allowing my 3DS light to reveal one of the biggest smiles I've yet seen. The dark of the room foreshadows the look of his eyes. "Now if you excuse me, I have pig to go slaughter." Before I could even say a word, Kamui atomically Kung-Fu the wall to his right, breaking the barrier between both rooms. "See you then." And then he just left the room-like that.

See kids, this is why you never eat the cake before your Mother tells you too. You can be the reason your sister or brother was whipped in the butt-or in this case get killed. Poor Abuto, the one thing he actually put dedication in and he ends up getting down-right rejected, like many students face today. Whelp, I better go find a hand-me-down black dress. I'll need it later.

 **A/N: I was in a creative writing class when I was assigned to create a story with satire in it. This was later born, and well I hope it was decent (probably not ^^;). Thanks for reading! And yes, I later found out meatball subs do not actually come from Italy ^^;;;**


End file.
